New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize