I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
