just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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