I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
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