so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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