It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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