we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize