Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
