Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize