I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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