Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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