he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize