Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
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