: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
