I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize