Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
