she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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