I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
