this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
