Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
