He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
