I'm eating all of the evidence.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
