Kareoke will never be a sober sport
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
