Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
