too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
