remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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