Ambien. No doubt about it.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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