Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
