Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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