why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize