oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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