i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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