i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
