I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
