omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
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