You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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