So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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