I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
