Is it normal to miss your booty call?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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