It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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