Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
