And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
