id be glad to
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize