Fine. I'll sleep in my office
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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