he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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