I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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