Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
