??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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