yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
