we're blogging at a bar
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
