Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
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