i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize