I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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