i would punch a child for taco bell
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
