perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize