I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
