alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize