ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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