what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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