So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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