sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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