So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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