I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize