I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
