At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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