Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize