i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Randomize
