I wanna bring you to show and tell
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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