Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
