hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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