Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
