my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
