Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
