But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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