Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
