Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
