I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize